When Life Doesn't Go as Planned

As soon as the teacher turned toward the dry erase board, a crinkled scrap piece of paper made its way to my desk. I glanced around the classroom to see where the toss came from. Hunched over, half covering her mouth, Corie eagerly whispered, "It's from Mitchell." I slowly unraveled the note and carefully read the tiny print: "Do you have a date to prom yet?"

After circling "No," I nervously chucked my response toward his direction, praying the teacher wouldn't see the paper ball conspicuously flying through the air. Moments later, the piece of paper found its way once more to the top of my desk: "Wanna go to prom together?" I can't tell you what I learned in class that day besides realizing my missed calling of meticulous paper throwing skills.  But one thing I did learn, Mitchell wanted to go to prom with me and I circled "Yes."

Prom was less than two weeks away. I was beginning to feel discouraged I hadn't been asked to my senior prom. Truthfully, I initially hoped either my guy friend from youth group or my crush on the tennis team would ask me. But when neither guy stepped up to the plate, I made plans to go solo with my girlfriends.

It wasn't exactly the "promposal" experience I had hoped for. MTV's Laguna Beach made every high school girl wish for that perfect "promposal" story to show-off to all their friends.

Looking back, I shouldn't have been so caught up on the "who" asked me or the "how" I got asked. So what if the guy I hoped to go to prom with didn't ask me? So what if the way I got asked to prom was a piece of paper tossed on my desk by a guy I hadn't planned on going with?

Ultimately, I felt so incredibly honored Mitchell asked me to prom. And even though I picked out my dress a month earlier, his suit and tie matched perfectly with my lavender-blue mermaid gown and corsage snap bracelet. Mitchell was an awesome date and I wouldn't have traded the dance floor with anyone else, specifically to Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing."

In addition to prom, there have been a handful of experiences that didn't go the way I had envisioned.

For example, my first kiss was a disaster; I didn't have that Mia Thermopolis Princess Diaries foot-popping experience. As a little girl, I looked up to Disney Princesses and desired for that Sleeping Beauty waking up from slumber kind of kiss. To be candid, I was drunk for my first kiss as a junior in college; however, I was cognizant enough to know it was abrupt, sloppy, and the least bit enjoyable.

In addition, my first date wasn't practical. Instead of the typical "dinner and a movie," we just skipped to the movie, leaving no room for us to actually get to know each other. After the credits rolled, I left the theatre knowing more about the characters in Star Wars: The Last Jedi rather than the person sitting next to me.

And yes, you read that movie title correct. My first date was in January 2018.

Lastly, I didn't plan on being single for 28 years.

When people first find out I've been single my entire life, their responses vary. A few years ago (before I went on my first date), a girl asked what I blogged about, and when I shared with her my story, her response belittled me.

Girl: Wait, but you've like gone on dates and stuff right?

Me: Well, no not exactly. I've been asked out once before, but I told the guy no.

Girl: Wait, so you've never dated anyone? Have you been crawling under a hole? I think everyone should experience heartache from a break-up. I've paid my dues. You better hurry and start dating now before all the good ones are taken since you're at ground zero on the dating experience.

First off, I've definitely experienced heartache to the point of feeling sick to my stomach. I'm not about to put myself through a break-up just to say, "I survived." And girl, please, God's timing is too dang perfect to be in a hurry to date. Since when did dating become a competition where you started from the bottom and worked your way up? I refuse to date just to date and lower my standards by settling less than God's best for me. Am I going to allow this girl's view of me dictate my worth? Hell to the no. 

There is no perfect guy, but I do believe there is a Godly guy out there who's imperfect.

God knows the desires of my heart; I just have to trust that when singleness gets hard or when "my" plans are altered, He is faithful and His plans are still to prosper.